This Is Not A Love Story
by FallingInAllTimeDeafBVTHdria
Summary: Going to an All Time Low show, Tamzin is left by the girl she considers to be her best friend. But meeting Amy and the strange unknown boy from her past leave her unsure of who she and what happened to her. But it's when her heroes start to get involved that her life gets even more complicated than she dreamed. Featuring Alex Gaskarth, Jack Barakat, Rian Dawson & Zack Merrick.
1. Chapter 1

**This Is Not A Love Story**

**Hi guys, this is my first fan fiction **** I'm not gonna be one of those people who writes their life story over the beginning of chapters, don't worry. I'm just introducing myself... So review etc if you like.**

**Poppy**

'Poppy! Get ass down here, I'm taking you to school!' My heart stopped. Of all the days mum could decide she wants to take me school, she had to choose the day I was supposed to ditch didn't she? Tamzin was gonna be so mad at me…

**Tamzin**

I took a deep breath, quickly slammed the door and locked it behind me. I stepped out of the back gate, and watching for the neighbours, began to power walk down the road. Right, left, right and I reached the bus stop. Paying the driver, I walked to the back row and lost myself in my headphones. I was the most nervous I had ever been – well at least that I could remember anyway. It was probably nothing compared to what I would feel coming home.

_Too Much Of Anything Is Too Much…_

Alex's sweet vocals calmed me, along with the knowledge my razor was safe in my pocket. Pressing the button, I arrived at the bottom of the hill I was meant to meet Poppy at and sat at the stop. Then I waited.

And waited.

We were on a pretty tight schedule, and it wasn't like Poppy to be late. After 15 minutes, I phoned her, and after the third attempt she answered. 'Poppy, finally, where are you? We're going to miss the train!'

'I'm not coming!' she hissed, and I was surprised at the venom in her voice.

'Why? What's up?' I asked confused – we already bought all the tickets and everything we needed.

'I can't do it! I have to go… My first lesson is starting. Bye.' She hung up, and I felt my eyes filling up with tears. Even my best friend left me.

Once I had composed myself, I thought over my options. I had a choice to make, one, I could go home, change and go to school horrendously late and supposedly ill. Two, I could go to London alone, without Poppy.

**Poppy**

I hated letting her down.


	2. Chapter 2

**Tamzin **

Standing up quickly, I made my decision. I would have missed the train we were meant to catch, but I could get on the next train – they came near enough every 15 minutes. Walking down the adjacent road to the train station, I began to feel even more nervous. Not for skipping school and going to London, but for what would happen once I got to my destination.

In the cold February air, my breath clouded in front of me as I waited for my train, and I thought back to when I was daddy's little winter dragon. I stood like that, remembering, until an old lady waved her hands in front of my face, waking me from my reverie. 'Are you ok dear?' she asked, concern and suspicion in her eyes.

'Yeah… Fine…' I mumbled, silently willing the train to hurry up and arrive. The old lady gave me one final glance, before walking up the stairs to get into the main station building.

With a gush of hot air, the train drew up in front of me, and I near leaped inside, to ensure I got a seat with a table. I had a letter to write.

_Dear Alex… _

I began, and once I had started, the words poured out of my pen, passing the hour journey in what felt like five minutes. Before leaving the train, I had a chance to look at my underground map.

**Rule one of London: Never look at a map in the train station or on the street. Never look like a tourist.**

I grabbed a coffee in St Pancras from a cosy little store, before getting on the Piccadilly Line in the underground. I stood next to another girl in and All Time Low shirt, and though we didn't speak, I returned her smile. This is what fanbases live for.


	3. Chapter 3

**Amy**

I was on the underground when I saw this skinny girl in an All Time Low shirt, clearly not from London. She kept glancing at her iPod, when she wasn't looking at the floor that is. As a guess, this stranger was here for the signing, meaning we would be going the same way from here on.

I looked up at her and smiled, and to my relief she smiled back. You never could be too sure about people in this city.

**Rule Two Of London: Don't Talk To Strangers.**

**Tamzin**

We both got off at Holborn, and walking in the same direction, she spoke to me. 'Are you off to the Hippodrome?' She asked nervously, sounding a lot younger than she appeared.

'Yep!' I smiled encouragingly at her. 'I'm Tamzin.'

'Nice to meet you Tamzin, I'm Amy.' She replied. 'Are you here alone?'

'Yeah.' I said, my earlier sadness that Poppy had left me had now become anger. 'Well, I was supposed to come with a friend, but she ditched me for school.'

'Aw that sucks! I'm meeting people there, but you can hang out with us. If you want to I mean…' Amy looked nervous all over again.

'Sure,' I smiled. 'Thanks.'

Without even realising, we had arrived at the bus stop. Amy clearly knew her way around London. The bus was nearly full, and Amy and I ended up at opposite ends of the bus. She smiled apologetically at me as I sat down next to an old man who smelled like had a problem controlling his bladder.

As soon as we got off the bus, I drenched myself in body spray, causing Amy to giggle. 'What?' I asked.

'Sorry… Did he smell that bad?' She stifled her laughter, but I could see it simmering behind her closed lips. I reached up, pinched my nose, and motioned as if I were wafting away the smell. Her laughter exploded, fresh and bubbly compared to the sinister parody I was used to hearing at home.

It was contagious, and the pair of us were doubled over laughing. Amy had tears in her eyes, and the strange looks we were receiving only made her laugh more, and in turn me.

I'd forgotten what it was like to have someone who didn't know how fucked up you were to laugh with.

Realising the time – we'd stood for nearly 10 minutes – we ran to the station, memories of the man causing the occasional giggle from one of us. We just made it on to the train in time, and sat talking about All Time Low for the majority of the half hour journey.

I looked at my phone for the first time since calling Poppy and was surprised to see no missed calls. My sickness story obviously worked. Then I started to feel bad for deceiving my mum. She was going to kill me when I was home. Unless… I made it home in time for her to not notice a thing.

Amy glanced over at me, seeing the thoughtful look on my face. 'What's up?' She asked.

'Just wondering if I can make it home in time before my mum gets home' I winked at her. 'Does your mum know you're here?' I asked.

'I'm fostered… my parents died when I was young she said.' My face must have dropped, as she went on. 'Don't feel bad for me, really I'm fine. My foster parents don't pay enough attention to me to notice I'm gone – they both leave early and get home late. They're accountants.' She made a face, I found myself wondering how she could be so blasé about being an orphan.


	4. Chapter 4

**Amy**

I was starting to like this strange girl, we talked about All Time Low and other bands while we were on the train. Well, until she started asking about my parents. I told her that I was fostered because they died – not a total lie, but much better than the complete truth. I prayed she would turn the subject to something more… comfortable.

**Tamzin**

'So… shall I take that as a no then?' I grinned at her, and she grinned back, silently thanking me for steering the conversation away from dangerous subjects. Little did she know that talking about personal stuff would be just as dangerous for me.

Off the train and on the platform, we were silent. Walking up and out of the station, we were silent. I began to wonder if had upset my new… friend? I don't know if I can consider Amy as a friend yet, but we had a lot in common and I enjoyed talking to her.

**Amy**

I was silent and thoughtful the rest of the journey, and I began to see Tamzin shooting me worried glances. I think I upset her with my silence. I thought of something to make it up to her, and kept my head down through the station – I could barely contain my grin, and I didn't want her to catch on to my plan.


	5. Chapter 5

**Tamzin**

However, my fears were unnecessary, I realised when we stood outside the station. Amy grabbed my hand and raised it in the air with her own, before throwing back her head and yelling 'HELLOOOO KIINGSSTOONNN!' We fell into a laughing heap, for the second time today getting strange looks. But that was ok, because they were strangers.

We skipped down the road, still laughing, and I wondered how I had gotten so close to the strange orphan girl I'd just met.

After the almost 3 hour journey, we arrived at the Kingston Hippodrome, the place to meet my heroes. There were only about 5 or so people here – it wasn't yet 11am. I checked to make sure I had my ticket, and found Poppy's with it. I would deal with my anger for her later – for the first time in forever I was happy.

'Do you want a drink?' I asked Amy. 'I'm gonna get a coffee.'

'Sure, get me one as well?' she replied.

'You keep our place then?' More people had started to arrive – it was only 2 hours before the show now. 'I'll be back soon.'

**Amy **

After a little while in the queue, Tamzin went off to get us both coffee, and I found myself alone again. I normally talk to people while I'm queuing at concerts if I'm alone, but today I found myself wondering what caused the sadness behind Tamzin's bright blue eyes.

While she was gone, my friends arrived, late as usual. Zack, Eliot and Taylor. Taylor and Zack were clearly still together. I was still sore over Zack's rejection last year, especially as he started dating my best friend less than three weeks later. Still… I had Eliot to talk to when they got too much for me to deal with.

Eliot was a strange guy. I'd known him since we were both 12, and he was near enough constantly high until just before he turned 15. I'd only ever known him to date one girl in 4 years. It was a short relationship last year – they were only together about a month before he broke up with her. If you ask him why he never dates, he says he's still in love with his best friend from a long time ago. We always take the mick and nudge Zack, but whoever it is, Eliot is not gay.

I hope he can get over her someday.


	6. Chapter 6

**Tamzin**

I left Amy sitting in the queue, and found a Costa. The warmth hit me like a slap when I walked inside – I hadn't realised just how cold I was. I paid the barista, and left with the two cups keeping my hands warm.

When I returned, Amy was with another girl and two guys, who greeted me with hostility, before realising I wasn't jumping the queue, that I was with Amy. She chuckled to herself, before doing the introductions. 'Guys this is Tamzin, Tamzin this is Declan, Zack and Zack's girlfriend Taylor, who also happens to be my best friend.' Taylor and Zack smiled at me and said hi, but Declan simply stared, as if he recognised me but didn't know where from. 'Hi.' I smiled back, and handed Amy her coffee.

'Aw damn we missed the food run!' Zack grinned and turned to Taylor. 'Girl, why do you take so long to get ready?' He asked, getting a playful slap and a wink from Taylor in answer.

'Costa's right there, I can show you I you want?' I offered. Zack and Taylor were still wrapped up in each other.

'I'll go.' Declan sighed. It was the first time I had heard his voice, and it sent shivers through me. 'DO. YOU. GUYS. WANT. ANYTHING?' He spoke as if talking to an idiot to Zack and Taylor. Zack answered for both of them.

'Hot chocolate for the lady, and a double espresso for me mate.' He said to Eliot. I watched them closely through my hair, trying to understand the relationship between the two guys who seemed to be the polar opposites of each other at a first impression.

Declan turned to me. 'Show me the way?' His eyes were a dark brown and I was unable to break eye contact until he did. 'Tamzin?'

'Oh right, sorry. Sure I'll show you.' I looked down, embarrassed. I looked back as we walked off, and saw Amy wink and point to the two of us. I rolled my eyes at her and smiled to myself.

**Amy**

I saw the tension between Declan and Tamzin the second their eyes locked. I wondered if they knew each other from somewhere already. I wondered if she would help him get out of his... depression caused by this girl who he hadn't seen in at least 4 years.

Maybe she would get something out of him on the walk.

**Tamzin**

We walked to Costa mostly in silence, with the occasional direction from me. When we arrived and got in the queue, Declan hugged me. I went rigid in shock, and tried to puff out my stomach a little. 'What was that for?' I asked.

'You looked like you needed it.' He answered, as if that were the end of the matter.


	7. Chapter 7

**Tamzin**

I was uncomfortable standing there, almost as if my insides were rubbing against each other. It felt strange and unnatural. I needed to cut. 'I'll be back.' I said to Declan, before making my way to the bathroom.

As soon as I had locked the door behind me, I closed the lid of the toilet and sat down, taking off my bracelets. Pulling a blade from my pocket, I grasped the cool metal and cut on the inside of my wrist. I watched the blood flow, and felt my discomfort flow out with it. I was afraid Declan had felt how thin I was when he hugged me. I cut my other wrist in the same place to be sure, before I blotted the wounds with a tissue, washed them, covered them with band-aids and put my bracelets back on.

I was still sat on the toilet lid when I started to feel faint, and I leant against the wall of the cubicle to try and stop the dizziness in my head. The world started to go dark when I heard a voice calling my name. 'Tamzin? Tamzin are you in here? Are you ok?' What was going on? 'Tamzin please… answer me? I'm in the women's bathroom for Christ's sake!'

'Declan?' I answered weakly, more to myself than anyone else. 'I'm here…' I tried to sit up, causing the world to spin again.

'Can you open the door?' He asked. When I didn't answer he began trying to open the door. 'Shit.' I heard him mutter when he opened the door. I didn't look up. I didn't want to see the disappointment on another stranger's face. He dropped the coffees on the floor and they began to mix with the blood I hadn't noticed I was lying in.


	8. Chapter 8

**Tamzin**

Declan bent down and lifted me up like a child. I think he was shocked at how little I weighed. He sat me on the sink counter and I leaned heavily against the wall. He pulled off all my bracelets and band aids, and stared at my wounds, fresh and new, and then at the scars that formed train tracks up my inner arms. 'Oh…' he whispered softly, before taking the surgical spirit from my pocket, pouring a little on a tissue and slowly cleaning the wounds. It stung like hell and I think he saw that in my eyes, but I relished in the pain. I hope he didn't see that too.

Once my wounds were clean, and most of the blood was off of my hoodie – it had avoided the rest of my clothes somehow, he gave me some pills that brought me round properly, and reordered the coffee. As we walked back to the others, I saw Declan watching me.

'What?' I turned to him, knowing I shouldn't be so hostile toward him since he had just saved my life.

'What?' He replied, my hostility reflected back at me. 'You're asking me what's going on? I'm not the one that just got hugged and then tried to fucking kill myself!'

'I'm fine!' I shouted. 'You don't know anything about me.'

'You're right! I don't have a clue what the fuck is wrong with you! Why would you do that? You came here to see All Time Low, right? Or are just looking for some reason for one of them to fall in love with you? Because you are seriously messed up if that's true!' He put on a ridiculous high-pitched voice 'Oh, Alex, I tried to kill myself today, please feel sorry for me, fuck me and then maybe I'll be fixed!'

'Declan, I just met you, do you seriously think you have the right to judge me, or accuse me of stupid things like this?'

'Considering you just attempted suicide in Costa toilets, I don't think these are exactly normal circumstances, do you?'

'I was not attempting suicide. I just… cut a little too deep…'

'Yeah well maybe next time I won't be there to save your skinny ass.'

'What did I do to make you so… hostile? And do you really think I'm skinny?' I couldn't keep my mind off his comment.

'From all I just said, you choose that to pick up on?' He shakes his head in despair. 'I seriously thought you were different.'

'I am different… please…' I hadn't noticed we had stopped; else we would be back at the Hippodrome by now. My eyes were shining in desperation.


	9. Chapter 9

**Tamzin**

Something in his expression changed, and he searched my face with his eyes. I started to blush, and looked down at my feet. 'Do I… Do you remember me?' He whispered, his eyes pleading with me.

'I…' I had no idea what to say. I felt like I knew Declan already, from the moment I met him, but I had no idea from where, or how, or why I didn't remember him now. 'I don't know…' I wished I could remember him – he looked crushed when I couldn't say yes.

'Forget it.' He muttered, and strode off.

**Rule Three Of London: Never Cause A Scene. People Will Stare. **

I ran after him, wracking my brain for his face, to no avail. 'Declan, wait!' I cried. He turned to face me, his expression cold. 'Please… I know you, I do! But I just don't know how!' Tears started to fall from my eyes, and his eyes softened. He took half a step toward me, but then seemed to shake himself, and his face resumed it's earlier coldness.

'Come on, they'll be wondering where we are.'

**Amy**

I didn't know whether to be worried or not. I hadn't seen Declan or Tamzin for the last 45 minutes, and it had only taken Tamzin 15 on her own to get drinks. Declan turned a corner, heading toward us, and my heart stopped. Where was Tamzin? She followed a few steps behind though, to my relief. But as she approached, I saw there were tears in her eyes, and I saw the hardened expression on Declan's face. What had gone on in that coffee shop?


	10. Chapter 10

**Hi guys! Sorry it's been so long since my last update, I've been super busy with exams and I've started a new story too (Sugar Skull – Go look c:) I also have a few ideas for another new story about a little band called Taking Hayley if any of you guys like them, I love them so much o m g. Anyways, things will get a little more interesting soon, I promise (they might actually get around to meeting All Time Low sometime soon aha) –Jas x**

I saw Amy's worried face as I walked up to my new… friends? She looked worried.

Fuck.

I'd hoped she'd be someone I could start over with, a new friend that I could laugh with without her constantly worrying if I would be here tomorrow. Someone who wouldn't treat me differently because of my past.

Oh well. I guess you screwed it up again.

'Are you ok?' she asked as I reached her, and I just couldn't help myself, could I?

'Fine.' I replied coldly, before turning away. I didn't want to see the hurt on her face.

I saw Declan standing across from me, a deep glare directed at me. Zack was whispering something to him, I could hear the low murmur of his voice in the otherwise silent group. Amy and Taylor exchanged a look, before Declan broke the silence.

'I'm going for a walk.' He said, turning on his heel and heading straight back the way we had come.

'I'll come with you!' Amy hurried after him, and I saw her give Zack the same look as she had Taylor not 2 minutes earlier.

The couple stepped closer to me, and I sighed, expecting some kind of interrogation, but to my surprise, it never came.

'So, what other bands do you like Tamzin?' Zack said, before slinging one arm around Taylor's shoulders, his espresso cradled in the palm of his other hand.

'Drop that on me and I'll kill you.' Grinned Taylor, before turning to me as well, waiting for my answer.

'Well..' I said, unsure how to reply. 'I like a lot of different stuff. Obviously I like All Time Low, but I also like Bring Me The Horizon, and… Black Veil Brides. I like Pierce The Veil, Asking Alexandria , but I also like Panic! At The Disco, and Tonight Alive. I have a pretty diverse music taste.' I smiled weakly at the end. 'What about you two?'

'Aw that's great!' Answered Taylor. 'Me and Zacky are like that, aren't we?' She looked up at him.

'Yep.' He smiled encouragingly at me. 'I think we're gonna get along just fi-' He was cut off by the sound of shouting coming from just around the corner. I guess Declan and Amy didn't get very far then.


End file.
